Is your Spouses Friend just a Friend?

It is perfectly common for couples to have close friends. In fact, it is common and normal for a husband to have a female friend and a wife to have a male friend. However, if your spouse has a friend that seems to be more, you might want to start paying attention to red flags. Chances are that things are innocent but many times, your instinct will alert you to trouble.

In summary, a friend that becomes a lover is broken down into to categories – obvious and not so obvious. Remember, in today’s society, an affair with a friend could be with the opposite sex or the same sex so you should pay attention regardless.

Obvious

Some people are just lousy when it comes to hiding an affair. While a husband or wife may think actions are sneaky, most often they are obvious. For starters, if you notice your spouse’s friend spends an excessive amount of time with your husband or wife, you probably wonder why. Other signs that your spouse’s friend has become more include:

Your husband or wife is more interested in doing activities with the “friend” than with you. For instance, if your marriage involved Friday date night or regular dinners out and now you find your spouse prefers to spend Friday night or other times with the friend, this could be a warning sign of something going foul.

When your husband or wife is around the friend, you notice flirtation, which could be play fighting, secret whispers or laughter, tickling, practical jokes, and so on.

Then, if your spouse spends more time discussing personal matters in person or on the phone with the friend instead of with you, distancing emotionally is occurring.

You might also notice your spouse paying compliments to the friend, with the number and frequency of compliments to you declining.

Of course, if your spouse were to call you the friend’s name during a moment of intimacy you would have a sure sign of something being wrong.

Phone conversations held in other rooms or spoken quietly could also be indicators that the friendship has become more.

Not so Obvious

As mentioned, the above signs of a friend being more than a friend are obvious but some people who get involved with an affair are quite good at keeping things secret. The information below you will find just a few examples of things that would be much less obvious when it comes to your spouse having an affair with his or her friend.

If you were to discover your husband or wife having dinner with the friend but not informing you then suspicions would rise. In this case, you may be notified by a mutual friend or acquaintance that they saw your spouse and this “friend” at a particular restaurant.

If you think, the friend is becoming too close to your husband or wife and you say something, only to be met with a comment in support of the friend, pay attention.

You might notice that your spouse’s friend is wearing new jewelry, taking more or elaborate vacations, or bragging about receiving flowers from a “secret admirer” then it is time to look at credit card receipts to see if purchases line up.

While it might be innocent, if your husband or wife helps this friend out on a frequent basis, teaching him/her to use the computer, fixing a car, running errands, etc, you might find this to be an excuse to spend time together.

The friend changes jobs so that he or she is now employed at the same company as the spouse.